How To Be A Better Lover – David Wygant
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Communicating what you want and what feels good is a great way to train your partner how to be a better lover.
In this episode, we have David Wygant as our guest. He’s an author that helped millions of men and women around the globe achieve success in their dating.
He talks about how the greatest form of sex is all about communication. He also emphasizes the importance of foreplay for women to be more open to receiving and have a better experience.
Communication can be the greatest form of sex.
Showing and telling your partner what you want and what feels good can train him to be a better lover.
Porn is stupid, and it means nothing.
Foreplay is everything.
Once the woman is turned on and orgasmic, it doesn’t make a difference on how much you move inside here.
If you can communicate in the bedroom, you can train each other to be the best lovers in the world.
Communication and authenticity are keys and learning how to be vulnerable are great.
Communicating and trying new things can bring the sex life back.
Surrender and be present because life will give you what you need.
TRANSCRIPTION: HOW TO BE A BETTER LOVER – DAVID WYGANT
Ladies and gentlemen, would you like to learn how to be a better lover and have better sex, longer sex? On today’s episode, that’s what we’re going to talk about.
David Wygant, that’s who we’re here for today to talk about how to be a better lover.
Maybe you’ve seen him on MTV or The Millionaire Matchmaker or NBC. He’s an author, and he’s helped millions of men and women around the globe achieve success in their dating.
All right, Thriving Launchers, we are here with the controversial and somebody who’s been a mentor of mine for quite a while on how to be a better lover. He doesn’t know that, but it’s somebody who I’ve been following for a while.
Without further ado, David, are you ready to launch?
I am ready to launch!
I didn’t know you were following me for a certain amount of time. I don’t pay attention to this follow-up thing. I feel like it’s a one scary high school in cyberspace. “Oh my God, look who’s following me! A girl I rejected 37 years ago. Whoa! What is that mean?
I am ready to launch.
I was into your work way back in the day when you were starting your business in the coaching area.
I don’t know how long you’ve been into it, but this was the early 2000s. I think I was just ending high school when I found your work because I was very timid and shy in the whole dating arena, and I found your work on how to be a better lover and enjoyed it.
How to be a Better Lover and Not be a One Pump Chump
Today, I know that one of the things that you and all of us wanted to talk about is what makes a man a good lover and men that don’t last long in bed and how men can improve that area of their lives.
Oh, my God. We’re talking about one pump chump, one-minute men?
Oh, the one pump chump.
We’re talking about the guys that go back to the 1776 revolution, and they are a one-minute men? The guys that always tell women all the time, “I never seem to cum this fast.” Six months later, they’re still singing the same song, and I got to tell you, women are equally at fault for this issue.
I want to hear more about that.
I know you do.
It’s the long dramatic pause.
It was a long dramatic pause. It was a tease.
How to be a Better Lover and have the Greatest Form of Sex
When we talk about sex and when we explain what we want in a partner, and we encourage each other to be the best that we can be, we no longer put up with one pump chump or silent Sally.
Silent Sally is the girl that is having this incredible sexual relationship in her mind, but when it comes down to her having sex, she is accepting one pump chump because she doesn’t want to break his little ego. So to me, the greatest form of sex is all about communication; telling and showing.
There’s a game that I like to call called ‘show and tell.’ Want to hear a little bit about it?
Of course, we do!
Men orgasm counters. It’s just unbelievable. It’s like an ego validation. You have a bunch of guys sitting around, and they’d be “Well, she came four point two times.” I don’t know what the point two is.
I’ve had a point two before.
A point two sucks. It’s like you’re building up again and then all of a sudden, he goes “Oops.” The worse is when the man is zero point two. Those are the worse type of guys.
How to be a Better Lover – Show and Tell
Show and tell is the greatest thing in the world because you need to show, and you need to tell to train your lover.
This is for every woman listening out there.
If you got a man that you’re dealing with, and he’s having trouble controlling himself, which most men are because most men are porn addict and masturbation junkies, and we all know that sex is not like a porn movie.
When you’re dealing with that type of guy, you need to give him words of encouragement and show him what works.
“Oh honey, I love when you do the circular up and down method like a jackhammer on a city street. That makes me cum hard.” The man feels validated.
Train Your Partner on How to be a Better Lover
“I love when you’re on top of me, and you gaze into my eyes, and you talk dirty to me, and you say, X, Y, and Z. It turns me on so much.”
By telling a man what you like, you’re showing him what you like, and you’re training him to be a better lover, and too many women are silent Sallies. They just accept bad sex.
By showing and telling a man what you like, you’re training him to be a better lover.
This is pervasive, and I’m glad we’re talking about this subject. What makes a woman a good lover? So for the woman, it’s about communication, being able to come forward to be able to understand her own body, what she wants, and then be able to communicate that.
How to be a Better Lover – Know What You Want And What Feels Good
Sometimes, a lot of women don’t even know what they want. They don’t even know what feels good so learning how to be a better lover is about being willing to explore.
But I also want to talk about from the man’s perspective. What can the man do?
First off, the man’s got to stop with the porn addiction to learn how to be a better lover.
Not only that. It’s disgusting to watch some dude banging some random chick. I don’t get it. I don’t want to see another man’s ass gyrating in the air. It does not turn me on.
So I tell men there’s a 30-day rule.
How to be a Better Lover – Stop Porn and Masturbation
When you start dating somebody, you need to stop the masturbation, and you need to stop the porn. It’s because the masturbation is training your body to cum way too quickly as you watch visuals of things that are never going to happen.
You’re never going to dress up as the FedEx guy coming into the office and be admired by the receptionist and banging her while the boss is buzzing her buzzer. It’s stupid. Porn is ridiculous, and it means nothing.
How to be a Better Lover – Train the Brain to the Sensuality
You want to train your brain to the sensuality to learn how to be a better lover. You need to start writing down what is sensual to you. What do you like? What do you enjoy? You need to write down almost your sexual wish list so you can start communicating and training your body to have a woman get you off slowly.
Also, you need to learn during sex that if you feel the need to cum quickly, stop in the middle of it, breathe, literally hold her tight, connect with her, kiss a little bit. You got to slow your body down to last. Those are some things you can do. That’s just a start.
We can go on for an hour, but we only have 10 to 12 minutes, and if we could just get him in the last 10 to 12 minutes, it’ll be a much better experience for a woman than the one, two seconds she’s having now.
Importance of Breathing on How to be a Better Lover
The whole thing about breathing too is significant and an important one on how to be a better lover because the breath does control the whole. It can control the whole system and how you’re connecting with yourself and with that person with you.
The breath is everything.
The fact is foreplay is everything. This is something I learned when I was a kid. My mom had these horny friends. I was watching The Love Boat, and then Fantasy Island would come on. It was just nothing exciting about Mr. Roarke and Tattoo. I always wanted to have a tattoo of Tattoo on my leg because I thought that’d be kind of cool.
So, I went down to my mom’s friends. My mom’s friends were all stoned and drunk, and I was 14 years old, and they taught me the greatest lesson because they’d be talking about sex, and I had a magic power of making myself invisible. They would say, “We say this in front of your son?” And my mom would be like, “Yeah, he’s cool.”
Foreplay is Everything on How to be a Better Lover
I learned at a young age that the most important thing you need to do in a relationship is to get her to cum first. Figure out what she needs, what she wants, what feels good to her, what combination of tongue, mouth, hands, how you seduce her, how you kiss her body.
Because once you get a woman swollen and all turned on, and orgasmic, it doesn’t make a difference on how much you move when you’re inside her because she’s already primed and she’s lubricated, and she’s already in that orgasm zone. What happens is, she’ll start having a much better experience, and she’ll be more open to receiving.
Too many guys go in too fast without doing foreplay, and she’s just not ready.
One of the things you’ve suggested on how to be a better lover is no pornography and no masturbation.
What are some of the other things that guys can do to train themselves so that when the moment comes, they’re more prepared?
Ask her. It’s all part of the show and tell.
How to be a Better Lover – Ask Her What She Likes
What makes a man a good lover? When you’re out with her and you know you’re going to start sleeping with her, ask her.
You’re fooling around on the couch. You know you’re going to sleep with her over the next week or two. Look at her and go, “I want to know what turns you on. I want to know what you like.”
I always tell women this all the time.
Whenever I’m with a woman, I always look at her, and I always say, “I’m in it to have the best relationship, and I’m in it to have the best sex of my life. So I’m open to whatever suggestions and I want to know what turns you on. I want to know what you’re into. What feels good? Don’t be shy. When I’m going down on you, don’t just go ‘oh and ah.’”
How to be a Better Lover – Drop Your Ego
“If I’m doing something great, tell me I’m doing something great. If you want it faster, if you want it harder, if you want a little more pressure, if you want me to take the pressure off, guide me and tell me because you have to drop the ego.
Communication is everything in the bedroom. If you can communicate in the bedroom and not be shy be about it, you then can train each other to be the best lovers in the world.
How to be a Better Lover – Communicate in the Bedroom
We all want to be this great lover for each other, but let’s face it, we’re not going to know everything somebody wants, and people know their bodies better than we do.
So there’s no problem showing. You can also do a show and tell too. You can do mutual masturbation in front of each other so you can watch the way that she moves her hand down there to know the type of rhythm she needs to have an orgasm. There are so many things you can do on how to be a better lover.
What do you think is one of the most significant drawbacks or challenges with couples that have been together for a long time and they’ve had experiences of great connection, great intimacy, awesome sex, but then, they’ve been together for maybe a long time, and that’s died off?
What do you think are some of the most significant challenges or hurdles those couples need to overcome?
First off, they need to put the kids aside.
Hello kids, hello baby, hello mommy, daddy role, and you need to start looking at each other as sexual beings that you are, and you need to start going out on a date again, but then, you also need to start communicating.
Once again, sex is never going to make a comeback unless you communicate. I’m a huge communicator. In everything that I do and everything that I teach, communication and authenticity are essential, and learning how to be vulnerable is great.
How to be a Better Lover – Talking with Compassion
Talk about it with compassion. “Hey, I love you. You’re beautiful. You’re the mother of my children.” or, “Hey, you’re the father of my children. I love you, but I’d like to get our sex life back on track again. Maybe we should rent a hotel room in the city and have grandma and grandpa take care of the kids, and we should bring some massage oils and other things. And get a book about Tantra and learn new things to do to one another.”
Because if you still love one another, that’s half the battle. You still respect each other. That’s half the battle. You could start screening things into the bedroom by once again, communicating, and trying different things out, and bring that sex life back.
It’s all such great stuff.
One thing that I want to throw in here from a female perspective that you talked about from the very beginning is that we need to be able to communicate as females. That’s what makes a woman a good lover.
How to be a Better Lover – Slow Down
Part of that is slowing down and being willing to go through whatever experience we’re having whether it’s awkwardness or feeling sexy or feeling fat. Whatever it is you’re feeling in the moment, slowing down and being able to listen to what your body is asking for moment by moment.
Women are complicated. It’s complicated to be a female, and so, we have to slow down and ask ourselves what we need moment by moment, and that takes presence, which is a lot of what you’re talking about from the male perspective too.
Before we go, is there any last tip that you want to leave the Thriving Launchers?
How to be a Better Lover – Surrender and Be Present
I got a mantra in life. Every single day, I wake up, and my mantra is this, “I surrender in the beautiful gift called light. I will surrender to every amazing moment that life gives me, and I will embrace every single lesson that is being surrendered and being shown to me today.” It’s because that’s what it’s all about.
It’s about surrendering and being present because life will give you what you need whether it’s sex or a conversation you need to have or a lesson you may take to embrace.
Can I tell people where to find me?
Go for it, David.
All right, good.
Daily Reality Check on How to be a Better Lover
Every single day, I do a podcast called The 10 Minute Daily Reality Check, which gives you a lesson on how to live a different, more powerful, successful reality for love, dating, health, wealth, everything.
It’s about changing your perspective on a daily basis to evolve your soul and your being into being the best person that you can be.
There you have it, Thriving Launchers.
Now, if you’ve been tuning in, and you’ve been listening and being present with this episode, I hope that you’ve got in mind some takeaway, something that hit home for you on how to be a better lover.
How to be a Better Lover – Being Open to Miracles
If there’s something that’s hit home for me from today’s episode, it’s David’s mantra. I love it. It’s waking up and telling yourself, and telling whoever’s out there creating this beautiful tapestry that is life, just saying, “You know what? I’m open to the miracle of today. I’m open to learning what’s here today and I’m opening to enjoy it and to be present with it all.” That is for me, my takeaway. That is to wake up with that openness and even say that mantra in my mind or say it out loud.
Thriving Launchers, whatever you got out of today’s episode, I hope it got to you and it sunk in, and whatever that is, just remember, keep thriving you all.
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