Learn To Say No – Shauna Mackenzie
MUST HAVE RESOURCES
SUMMARY
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Our definition of success is based on what we’ve seen in our culture, media, and people we’ve looked up into.Just by our nature, we have this magnetism to saying “Yes” to things.
We tend to jump from one thing to another because it feels fulfilling.
It can be challenging to learn to say no. Our brain doesn’t exactly react to “No” very well, and the people around us don’t respond to “No” very well.
If you can learn to say no to things that are not in alignment with what’s worthwhile of your time and in your zone of geniuses, then you do put yourself in this space and build this air and energy around you that you’re a highly sought-after professional.
Knowing when to say “No” is relatively easy but saying it is the hard part.
Tactics to say “No” when you’re caught up in a moment where you think you should say “Yes”:
- Sandwich your “No.” Start with a positive statement. Then drop the No and end with a positive statement.
- Buy yourself time always.
The Yes Diet
- Figure out what’s triggering you to say “Yes”.
- Know what you’ll do with things that you said “Yes” to.
- Eliminate things, activities, and people. Let go of certain activities.
- Delegating
- Streamlining
- Accepting
Everything has to earn its spot, and that’s true if you can live by that lesson day in and day out. It’s the only way you’re going to be able to keep that space alive for the new things that you ideally want to bring in.
You don’t even need to learn to say no if you turn off all the notifications on your phone and your computer.
It takes us on average about 25 minutes to refocus back to the thing we were doing before clicking on that notification.
Multitasking does not work.
Work in 20-25 minutes of intense focus with a 5-7 minutes break
A lot of people run away from restrictions especially entrepreneurs.
When we realize that limits equate to freedom, we then, can use them in a way that’s empowering and creates more abundance for ourselves.
Entrepreneurs have difficulty charging what their value is and women tend to struggle with it a little bit more than men.
If you don’t figure out what your value is and charge accordingly. You’re going to hit burn out and feel a sense of contempt about your business.
If you don’t charge your value then, no one’s going to see what your value is.
Price in a way that makes you take your work seriously.
Taking this direct leap will put you in a position where you can work with your ideal clients who understood it.
TRANSCRIPTION: LEARN TO SAY NO – SHAUNA MACKENZIE
Kamala Chambers
Can saying “No” be good for your business?
We’re going to get into that and answer just that question today.
In this episode, we’re going to learn to say no.
Luis Congdon
I love that we’re going to learn to say no because it’s so different. A lot of people think about high power level people saying “Yes” to a lot of things or just being like immediate action takers. But the more that you scale and grow your business, the more you’re going to have to learn to say no
So let’s jump into to it and introduce Shauna.
Kamala Chambers
Today, we’re here with a special guest Shauna Mackenzie.
She’s a speaker, content marketer, communication specialist. The list of things she does goes on and on.
Today, we’re going to talk about something that is near and dear to Shauna that has helped her leverage and grow her business, and that is something called The Yes Diet. We’re going to hear how she learned to say no.
Welcome to the show Shauna.
Shauna Mackenzie
Thank you. Thanks for having me.
Kamala Chambers
I know that we’ve got the Yes diet and how to learn to say no.
Can you just tell our listeners a little bit about what it is and why people would want to know about it?
Learn To Say No And How To Say Yes
Shauna Mackenzie
This is essentially a new lifestyle and mindset for entrepreneurs to approach, and the reason that it’s so important for those that are self-employed and running a business to approach this as a lifestyle is that we just by our nature have this magnetism to saying “Yes” to things and learn to say no.
We love shiny objects. We love projects. We’re super motivated, and we get highs off of little and big successes. But we have this tendency to kind of jump from thing to thing because everything is so fulfilling.
A lot of times, this works just fine for maybe a couple of years but then, you get into year 3 or year 4 or reach a rut, and things get stagnant, and you realize that you’re incredibly overwhelmed. You’re over-committed. You’re stressed beyond belief and, you don’t feel like you’re being paid the value that you’re worth.
I think at some point; we’ve all felt that in our path of entrepreneurship over the years where it’s like, “Gosh. I don’t feel like I’m able to see what this value is.” My closest field is a service provider. So, I can speak to service providers in this one.
Luis Congdon
I know that when Kamala and I got started in our business, one of the biggest problems that I had, and Kamala’s been the one that greatest teachers for this for me is, I said “Yes” to a lot of people and sometimes. We’d have days where I’d have tons of different things that I was doing that were completely free, and Kamala is like, “You’re going to have to learn to say no.”
The Brain May Not Like It If You Learn To Say No
Shauna Mackenzie
Yeah, absolutely and it’s frightening because our brain doesn’t exactly react to “No” very well and the people around us don’t like to hear “No.”
But, what happens without us even really realizing it is that, when we are broached with “No” or someone says “No” to us in a thoughtful and friendly way, it does something to their value. It almost kind of up levels them in a sense and some people use it just for that power move in and of itself. We want to learn to say no and use it from a genuine, authentic place.
If you can start saying “no” to things that are not in alignment with what’s worthwhile of your time and in your zone of geniuses, then you build an energy around you of being a highly sought after professional.
Shauna Mackenzie
That travels very quickly.
Kamala Chambers
Is there any practice that you recommend for trying out The YES Diet?
Learn To Say No And Practice Saying It
Shauna Mackenzie
Knowing when to say “No” is relatively easy but saying it is the hard part.
One of the easiest tactics to learn to say no off that bat just to say “No.” When you’re caught in a moment where you get triggered to say “Yes” and then later regret it. One way to learn to say no is to sandwich your “Nos.” And so, we like to start with a positive statement, drop the “No” and then end with a positive statement.
So something like, “I’m so glad you thought of me for this networking event. Unfortunately, I’m not able to attend, but I just know it’s going to be a success.”
Learning the actual verbiage is one thing and then the second thing is to buy yourself time always instead of making split second decisions.
A lot of entrepreneurs and, especially extroverts, fall into this pattern and it triggers just saying “Yes” in the heat of the moment when their mind hasn’t had a chance even to process what they’re saying “Yes” too.
The biggest key is, whatever you can do to buy yourself time and again, having a statement like, “Oh, great. Let me double check my calendar. Oh, I have to run this by my assistant.” Or something that buys you a little bit of time is essential. Often, the trigger truly is just that. The heat of the moment, we’re excited, or we honestly just don’t want to feel guilty, so we say “Yes” to satisfy the other person.
Learn To Say No By Not Responding To Every Message
Luis Congdon
When I think of how to learn to say no, it makes me think of Facebook. I used to have this compulsive need to respond to every message as soon as I saw it and stay engaged in responses.
Now, because the business and the popularity of what I’m up to has grown, I get asked a lot more questions. I’ve learned to quickly glance at a message, and the person could see that I’ve read the whole thing, I don’t always respond right away. Sometimes, I’ll say, “Let me get back to you on that” or I just won’t write back, and it helps my business grow. That is one way I learn to say no.
One of the problems, I’ve had Kamala say I was being too available and not saying “No” to enough things. Now that I’ve started to say “Yes” to the things that really matter and that are really high leverage activities. As I learn to say no to more things, and it helps the business grow.
When I learn to say no, it’s helped us as new business owners. It’s something that’s pretty important I think because as your business is growing, there’s going to be, “Okay, we need to build a new website.” Are you going to be the person that does that? Then there are these clients that have this little issues. Are you going to handle them or are you going to learn to say “I just don’t take on clients at this value anymore.”
Learn To Say No By Not Being Too Available
Shauna Mackenzie
Absolutely and you’re so right about that.
Being too available is something that we talk a lot about in the Yes Diet Program and how to set those boundaries. So, you, in essence, are teaching people how to communicate with you.
My husband, for example, has a voicemail on his phone and when you call him, it goes to voice mail and says, “I do not check voice mail every often because of the amount of phone calls that I get. The fastest way to get in touch with me is to shoot me a text here or here’s my email address.”
With that, he’s already eliminated a whole channel of communication, the phone and checking voicemails from his activity list by essentially teaching people how to communicate best with him.
Luis Congdon
Yeah. That’s so important to have some boundary set up.
So what’s something else that someone’s going to get out of your Yes Diet Course? We don’t just think about when we learn to say no, ” or we’re saying “Yes.” What are some other pieces?
Shauna Mackenzie
We first walk you through what’s triggering you to say “Yes” and there are five triggers. Once we’ve figured out that, then we think, “Okay, what are we going to do with the things that we said ‘Yes’ to and now, we need to clean up.” Now we need to learn to say no.
And so, you have all these different channels. You have the channel of editing or eliminating and we talk about things, activities and people. As harsh as that sounds to eliminate a person, but sometimes we need to end a relationship or sort of ignore a relationship.
We need to certainly let go of certain activities and then we move on to delegating. We move on to stream lining and then we move on to accepting.
The Balance Of Yes When You Learn To Say No
Shauna Mackenzie
We’re not telling you to eliminate “Yes” entirely. We’re trying to help you find a good healthy balance of the right kind of “Yes.” Once we’ve cleaned out what currently exists in your life to make the space for that time, that energy, and that money to come back to you, then we implement a mentality of “Everything needs to earn its spot in my life.” If you learn to say no, new things open up.
Everything has to earn its spot, and if you can live by that lesson day in and day out, it’s the only way you’re going to be able to keep that space alive for the new things that you ideally want to bring in.
Kamala Chambers
Yeah, I can relate to that.
I consider myself a highly productive person and I think one of the most important things is when I’m focused on a task or a project that just cut everything else out that doesn’t need to be there and focus on this stuff that’s the personal care and like I don’t answer the phone. I don’t respond to the text during those times. The project is what that focus is.
I work a lot with people who do product launches and online launches and classes. That’s one thing that people get a lot scattered.
Shauna Mackenzie
Yeah.
Learn To Say No By Turning Off Notifications
Kamala Chambers
They get scattered because there are so many things to do and they get pulled off by all these things, and the place that I like to start with people is, “Okay, let’s just make the commitment to dive fully into this. Let go of those energy drains and let’s get started.”
Shauna Mackenzie
Absolutely.
One of the biggest tips to learn to say no is to turn off all notifications on your phone, on your computer. The notification that’s someone new just followed you on Instagram, those are all hitting our brain and it’s the equivalent of cocaine and addiction.
When something good happens, and we’re firing off those neurons, it’s the same thing. They’ve now studied with an Instagram follower popping up, or you get a new email or dopamine is becoming addicted to all these notifications, and it takes us on average about 25 minutes to refocus back to the thing we were doing before clicking on that notification.
Imagine all the notifications you get sidetracked on and how much time you’re spending just trying to refocus.
Luis Congdon
Oh man. Shauna was in the room with me, then, the way that I function is like ADD.” I’m like “Okay. Texting this person. I still need to learn to say no. I’m messaging this person on Facebook, and I’m trying to write a blog post, and then I’m scheduling someone for the show via email.
Techniques To Learn To Say No
Shauna Mackenzie
Yes.
Multitasking does not work. It’s been proven change how we learn to say no.
Luis Congdon
It’s working okay over here, but it could use some fixing.
Shauna Mackenzie
There are two. There’s a Pomodoro technique. I don’t know if you’ve heard of it, but it’s a wonderful way to work.
A Pomodoro is essentially 20 or 25 minutes of intense, focused work and then a short break, around 5 to 7 minutes and then you’ll do that again 20 minutes on, 5 minutes off, 20 minutes on and 5 minutes off and then you’ll take a 25-minute break.
The Pomodoro technique works for a lot of people, who want to learn to say no. There are tons of apps if you just search Pomoduro in the app store. There are all kinds of them for your iPhone that’ll help you with the timer and the clock and all of this. That seems to be a style that people have said they’re getting a lot more done working in those focused 25-minute work styles and then the 5-minute break.
Luis Congdon
That’s a great thing too is having short intensities. It’s interesting because for me, the way that I get into subject matters, is I try to dive as deep into that subject.
I wanted to learn about raw foods for example. So, I became a 95-100% percent raw vegan, a raw foodist for three months and I took a cooking course, and joined these groups and started attending them.
I always find that I become very knowledgeable when I concentrate that level of effort of something.
Learn To Say No Using Time Restrictions
Shauna Mackenzie
Oh yeah, that’s great as a way to learn to say no.
It’s true, though. It works. Whatever that timespan is going to be but knowing that you got a limit on it. A lot of what we talked about in the Yes Diet, and when you learn to say no, it’s a limitation, which a lot of people run away from, especially entrepreneurs.
Restrictions can equate to freedom, and we can use them in a way that’s empowering and creates more abundance.
Shauna Mackenzie
I’m sure you’ve heard of Parkinson’s Law. If we’ve got this space and the time, we will fill it even if it doesn’t need to be. And so, with Parkinson’s Law, we can use that to our advantage by setting artificial restriction and barriers.
My husband and I recently moved on to a boat. It’s been his lifelong dream to live on a boat, and we renovated. An old, like modern style boat. We moved in May, and we didn’t have internet or TV for the first two months. So I was restricted to getting everything done at my office when I’m used to coming home, being able to sit on my laptop.
But I was getting more done with that restriction. Because I knew I was sort of on a deadline, when I had access to the internet. I think you could think of all kinds of example in your life where some imposed restriction causes you to get a lot more done in a shorter and a smaller amount of time.
The Biggest Factor As You Learn To Say No
Kamala Chambers
Is there anything else that you want to make sure the audience walks away with today about increasing your productivity and finding as you learn to say no?
Shauna Mackenzie
I think the biggest thing that a lot of business owners will struggle with is pricing. And again, I’m speaking to service providers and those selling their expertise but, that’s where “No” starts to strengthen your business.
I’m finding that entrepreneurs that are self-employed selling their time have difficulty charging what their value is, and not discounting their services, and unfortunately, women tend to struggle with it just a little bit more than men.
If you don’t figure out what your value is and charge accordingly, and if you don’t stop discounting your services, you are going to hit burn out and hit rock bottom. You’re going to feel almost like a sense of contempt for your business because it creates this downward spiral effect.
If you don’t charge your value, no one’s going to see what your value is.
Shauna Mackenzie
Price in a way that will make you take your work seriously.
There is a phrase that went through my head when I was getting to a point where I was “yes” to clients, I probably shouldn’t have been saying “Yes” to. When I needed to learn to say no. I was saying “Yes” to a discount off my service. I was working with people on pricing and just enough is enough. I wasn’t taking those projects seriously anymore because I felt contempt for it. I knew it wasn’t what I was where.
Take A Leap And Learn To Say No
Shauna Mackenzie
When I finally could say, “Okay, this is my number. Saying no is what it takes for me to take these projects seriously,” not only did I raise that price with a number but I also got to work with the ideal clients who understood that.
Making this concrete is a direct leap of saying No and knowing what your value is, puts you in a position to only work with people that you enjoy and who totally understood it.
Kamala Chambers
That was fantastic.
You’ve been listening to the Thriving Launch podcast. We’ve been here with Shauna Mackenzie talking about her new program, The YES Diet and how No will increase your profits and productivity in your business. Learning to say no is a big one for entrepreneurs.
Luis Congdon
Great to have you today Shauna. Excellent tips by the way so I’ve got some No’s to say to people today.
Kamala Chambers
Hopefully not me.
Luis Congdon
No. I won’t be saying No to you.
Shauna Mackenzie:
Thanks, guys.
Shauna Mackenzie
As we graduate high school and getting into our early 20s and we have this version of success that we’ve typically adopted from what we’ve seen in culture and media and maybe those that we’ve looked up to. I think as we get smacked in the face by reality, as we go through relationships, and as we looked in at certain people and go, “Gosh, I don’t like that about you,” and looked at other people and go, “I really admire that person.” It really starts to form in shape what success really looks like and I don’t think that success is very relative.
The key to success is not very specific. I think that there are different channels of success but I think to have it all, if you will. This has been one of my aim on my journey of success is to have it all. Meaning to have strong relationship with my wife, my family, and my kids, to have a really have strong spiritual life that I’m a Christian guy but just to make sure that’s a priority in my life, which suggests that the key to success is a wide term. To make sure I have good reputation, and that I protect that and the day of the internet where the internet never forgets whatever you say can be construed and pushed against you. We got to be very careful to protect our names and our reputation. And then, my physical health, on top of that, my finances. Together, those kinds of things really make up my success and really help in defining the key to success.
You can tell it. I don’t talk about my business. My business is not something that I do and I think it’s fairly successful as a channel but for the most part, I don’t want to become the wealthiest guy that nobody likes. Mere being wealthy is not the key to success. I don’t want to become the guy that got too busy making a living that I forgot to make a life. There are all these puns that I can just keep going with in terms I don’t want to be the richest guy in the graveyard. That’s the life that I want to stay away from and I define the key to success on my own terms.
I might not be the wealthiest guy that you’ve ever meet but my hope is to become one of the most successful people you’ve ever meet.
MUST HAVE RESOURCES
