Luis Congdon

Hey there, Thriving Launchers.

Today, let’s talk about overcoming rejection, how to overcome ‘Nos,’ failures, and let downs so that you can have breakthroughs, and what are the mindsets Kamala and I have been using and applying so those upsets and breakdowns become wins.

Hey, what’s up, Thriving Launchers?

Luis and Kamala here for our Monday episode, and we want to talk to you about overcoming rejection.

Overcoming Rejection Is Hard

Kamala, I got to tell you. This has been a hard past two or three weeks for me. I’ve got a lot of rejections happened. I had a coach do a break up with me where after weeks and weeks of working together, he felt like we weren’t a fit anymore and we parted ways.

It’s just been a heavy few weeks of overcoming rejection.

Luis Congdon

Well, I’m ready to dive in and tell you guys a little bit about that because Kamala is right. I put myself out there a lot, and there’s some growth.

Growth With Overcoming Rejection

I wanted to tell you guys about the success of that rejection.

Let me just back up for a moment and share with you that for the past several months, I’ve been trying to become a writer for places like Inc. magazine, Entrepreneur magazine, Success magazine, and mindbodygreen. There are many different places.

Overcoming Rejection Of Major Publications

Some of the places I’ve become a writer for like mindbodygreen, but then I wrote a couple more articles, and they rejected them. I wrote for Inc. magazine on three different occasions, and they rejected all three applications, and it takes hours to do this.

Then, I found Addicted 2 Success, which is another major publication, and I wrote three different times. Each time, they rejected my writing, and on the third time, they said, “We like your writing. This is good. It’s just not original enough.”

Takeaway From Overcoming Rejection

Through that process, Kamala, I feel like there’s a nugget to be taken out of that rejection or out of those no’s. The biggest nugget I got out of it was that I needed to spend more time with my editing and writing and that the rejections were opportunities to strengthen my resolve and to become even more committed to the outcome I wanted.

Luis Congdon

One of the things I’ve personally gone through this week in regards to overcoming rejection is realizing that I was relying too much on the feedback of other people. To put that in context the first few rejections I got were like five or seven. That’s the first few to give you an idea of how many times I was rejected by different publications and different places that I’ve been trying to write for. Seven is like the first few of more rejections.

One of the things I started to do is I would write some drafts.

Overcoming Rejection And Knowing The Reason Of Being Rejected

Because I didn’t want to experience this sensation of “I’m not good enough” or “This isn’t working.” I started handing stuff off to my editor way too soon. I started giving things off that were incredibly incomplete. They were basically like free flow writings where I would just jot down as much about an idea, but I wouldn’t somehow make it cohesive. I wouldn’t sit and sculpt and mold it because I was worried that I was going to spend all this time and get turned down anyway.

And so, I’d hand it to my editor.

These past two weeks, I decided that maybe I was getting the rejections because one, my editor just doesn’t know what I’m trying to say to the same degree that I do. And two, maybe my writing wasn’t getting good enough because I wasn’t spending enough time sculpting it, molding it, massaging it out, and getting in touch with myself as a writer.

Luis Congdon

Thriving Launchers, you guys know this. Kamala likes to remind me of how strong I came on.

Luis Congdon

That’s an incredible question, and it applies to how I was overcoming rejection when it came to inviting guests on my show. I’ve had guests that I chased around for a year or two before they said ‘Yes’ to come on my show.

Going after Kamala, initially, she wasn’t interested. She wasn’t ready yet.

Writing for major publications, I probably got about 13-14 rejections notices before somebody said “Yes.” The first time someone said “Yes,” they came back and said, “You know what? Never mind,” and turned me down.

Overcoming Rejection By Having Your Mind On The Goal

That rejection can hurt but one of the tools I found that is powerful is you have your mind on the goal, and you know what you want. Then, you just keep pushing through it.

You get that rejection and say, “All right, what is it I want?” “Right, I want to get into some paid publications. Right, I want to write for some great places where there are a lot of readers, and I can impact lives.”

I get a rejection. “Okay. What is this information giving me as it relates to my goal?” Not what is this information giving me as it relates to me not being good enough or me not having what it takes or any of that.

Overcoming Rejection And Not Taking Things Personally

I get a rejection in an email saying, “No, thank you. We don’t like your article.” That information doesn’t mean anything personal about me. All it says is my article wasn’t a fit so then, that piece of information in my mind turns into, “What do I need to do so that I write an article that they want?”

Then, that leads to me spending more time on that publication, reading the articles other people have written. I need to contact people I know that have written for those publications and ask them for any tips.

Maybe I need to email a different person. Maybe I need to spend more time writing my article, and then sending it to an editor. Maybe I need to stop relying on my editor so much and spend more time myself crafting what I want, asking for less feedback, and that’s all information that I’ve used.

Overcoming Rejection On Wrestling

The biggest lesson I was gifted with when I did wrestling, which in Seattle, Washington, wrestling teams are terrible, and we wrestle other teams that are fantastic. This information is important to you because the first year I fought, I was horrible. I did terribly.

The second year, I realized if I use me losing a wrestling match as symbolic of me not being good at this sport or me being a loser, then no matter what I do, I will stay stuck as a loser and I will remain confined to the results of being a loser.

Overcoming Rejection And Finding A Way To Be A Winner

What if I use this information to make myself a winner? What if I always found a way to be a winner regardless if I win or lose?

What I did in wrestling is I said, “Every single time I wrestle, as long as I learned something from the match, I’m a winner.” It’s the same thing with rejection.

If I get rejected, I’m a winner because I’m trying. If I get rejected, and I get an email saying “No, thank you,” then, I got their attention, which means I got farther than other people who just think about it or who write and they don’t even respond to them.

Overcoming Rejection And Understanding What It Takes To Get A Yes

When people say “No, thank you,” it means that now, I have a piece of information that they didn’t like, and now I’m a winner because I’m much closer to learning and understanding what it takes to get a Yes.