True Intimacy – Allana Pratt
Having a true intimacy with yourself means acknowledging and getting to know each part of who you are. It is about getting into your core and just going into the different aspects of yourself.
In today’s episode, we are here with Allana Pratt. She’s an intimacy expert, the author of four books, and has been featured on Fox, CBS, and Huffington Post.
Allana shares how being intimate with yourself can attract not only your lover, but also clients and money.
Intimacy means ‘into me I see.’
Our fears block us from that full self-expression.
When we can have an intimate relationship with ourselves and have nothing to apologize for, we become very magnetic to money and incredible intimate sexual relationships.
There are seven “You’s” inside based on the seven areas of your life which are physically, mentally, spiritually, financially, vocationally, family, and socially.
Acknowledge and get to know each part of yourself.
Allow the energy to pass through.
Be courageous to find your lowest vibration of shame and guilt. Don’t fix it instead bring it into your arms.
Transcendence will occur once you love yourself unconditionally.
Provide a sacred time for yourself.
TRANSCRIPTION: TRUE INTIMACY – ALLANA PRATT
Hey, Thriving Launchers, on today’s episode, we’re going to talk about true intimacy; intimacy with your relationships with people, money, and every kind of relationships you have. How do you level that up? We’re going to talk all of that on today’s episode.
We’re here with Allana Pratt. She’s an intimacy expert, the author of four books, and maybe you’ve seen her on Fox, CBS, or on Huffington Post.
All right, what’s up, Thriving launchers? Let’s talk about true intimacy. Let’s dive in with Allana.
Allana, are you ready to launch?
Absolutely! I’m ready to launch. I love it!
You two are the sexiest couple around.
Hey, thank you. We appreciate that.
Holistic Level of True Intimacy
It was nice to meet you at the event. Thriving Launchers, we got a chance to meet her and chat with Allana, and one of the things she expressed to us and we connected with is that she gets what true intimacy is on this holistic level.
So without further ado, Allana, what is this holistic thing that you talk about? You said true intimacy isn’t just a relationship with a person. It’s also things and money.
Tell me a little bit more about that.
Thank you, yes.
True Intimacy – “Into Me I See”
I break the word down ‘intimacy,’ ‘into me I see.’ When we look inside, there are parts of us were ashamed of and hiding. We’re not ready to step up and speak our truth in our business or the bedroom.
Quite often, there is a mismatch between thriving, which is about flourishing and blossoming in all seven areas of our lives; physically, mentally, spiritually, financially, vocationally, family, and socially. It’s like being your fullest expression. But ‘into me, I see,’ when we look inside, we’re like “Will I be rejected?” “Will I be accepted?”
Have True Intimacy With All Parts of Ourselves
Many fears block us from that full self-expression. When we can have an intimate relationship with all of these parts of ourselves, heal them, balance with them, have nothing to apologize for, have nothing that we need to get to be good enough, we become very magnetic to money. We attract incredible intimate sexual relationships even to connecting more deeply with our children and the planets.
Yeah, I find that this is a big important piece of creating that magnetism. It is how deeply we can connect, and with each moment with ourselves, with the experience that we’re having, and each breath we take.
One thing I love about this is getting to some of the deeper and richer tasks.
What can we do? I know it’s a lot of not doing but what can we do to create this experience of deeper connection? I know we’ve talked a lot about the breath on the show and how the breath can bring us back into the moment.
Anything else that you recommend the Thriving Launchers can do to apply some of this?
True Intimacy With The Seven “You’s”
You could go inside and imagine that there are seven “you’s” inside.
Those seven areas of life are physically, mentally, spiritually, financially, vocationally, family, and socially. You could even add one for sexuality. I think that will be fantastic, and have a conversation with them.
Get to know “Do I like and trust myself? I went bankrupt, or I didn’t make as much money as I thought. Is that part of me ashamed to show up? Am I trying to overcompensate in one area?”
True Intimacy – Get To Know All Parts of Yourself
Take it one by one and get to know these parts, and don’t try to fix or change. That’s a subtle form of judgment. It’s more about just acknowledging, “Hey, you have every right to feel ashamed that that launch in your business didn’t go very well. I get it.” and you don’t try to put sugar sprinkles on top of the ice cream cone of shit. You just sit there with that part of you and get them.
Just feeling gotten is to me what transcendence is; no judgment, total allowance, home.
If you can take an exercise and go through each of these parts of yourself, you will no longer try to overcompensate on the outside, which is what pushes clients away, pushes your lover away, pushes money away.
True Intimacy Makes You Magnetizing
When you can just behave, “Here I am, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I’m here on a journey just like you.” You’re so magnetic like a vortex to be connected with deeply. People experience you as authentic, safe, and they will come close in a personal or professional manner.
I love that you’re talking about the seven selves and taking those moments to listen to all aspects of ourselves.
True Intimacy – Listen to Different Aspects of Ourselves
We’re so much more than just one-dimensional being. There are many different parts of who we are; our grounding, instability, our emotional selves, our mental selves, our heart-centered selves, all of those various aspects of who we are.
I like to look at it as a roundtable to bring all of ourselves forward and have a conversation in a dialog with those different aspects of ourselves.
Can you lead us through another way to deepen that conversation?
I saw the two of you dancing on stage, and you were super-hot, and I also am a dancer.
True Intimacy – Start Moving
What I like is we’re often top-heavy, trying to intellectualize everything and figure it out, but when we embody a transformation, that’s when we “be” it. You can have these conversations with these different parts of yourself, but then I would start to move.
When we embody a transformation, that’s when we “be” it.
Let’s say in the sexual realm, you’re feeling a little intimidated or bad, and you like to embrace your naughty. Put on some raunchy song, and start to dance with that part of you until you’re no longer apologizing for who you are.
True Intimacy – Embody The Energy
Let’s say in the business realm, you desire to do a podcast like the two of you, but you’re a little afraid. So put on a song like Beyoncé or something that feels empowering, and let’s start to embody the actual energy and expression of that safely. In your room, draw the drapes. Don’t let anyone know, its okay. You’ll find significant breakthroughs in that.
Also, there could be tears that haven’t been cried or anger to hit a pillow that hasn’t been expressed that’s sitting inside of you. When you dance this embodiment, it will flush the block of what’s in the way.
True Intimacy – Dance into The Embodiment
Don’t be afraid, don’t push it down, just dance it. Breathe it through to the other side. It’s very healing to allow the energy to pass through. Process it. We don’t have to control everything. There’s a whole universe in us, and through us that’s on our side, supporting us when we declare, “I’m willing to be free and express in each of these areas of my life.”
I love how you’re bringing dance into it, and this reminds of when I was teaching at an energy medicine school.
One of the things that worked with was being able to access different aspects of ourselves just like what you’re talking about different vibrational frequencies. You could look at it from a shocker perspective as well.
Utilizing Music And Color To Achieve True Intimacy
One thing that we did is I created a different playlist to help access various parts of yourself, and we went on a journey. We would start with the root of ourselves, getting into more primal sounds, things that have to do with stability, and we would dance that aspect of ourselves.
I would also color the room with red light to help access that root chakra, and then we do this whole chakra journey. The next one would be like an orange light, and then more sensual music to tap into our sexuality more.
True Intimacy – Think in an Energetic Perspective
I love that you’re bringing this conversation up and it’s reminding me of being able to not just think about something in an intellectual perspective but in an energetic aspect.
Also, it’s telling me about being able to move all of that experience through our bodies.
What else? I’d love to get a little deeper in this with you.
I love that you do all that. That is so hot, and that thoroughly explains the level of presence, sensuality, class, the power that you have, and why the two of you are so magnetizing, and I’m so turned on by you two.
Another example I would give is when you’re going through this dance movement or the conversations with these aspects of self, remember that the biggest bang for your buck is going for where you’re stuck the most. It’s almost like a domino effect.
True Intimacy – Come into Communion With Your Lowest Vibration of Shame and Guilt
Be courageous enough to find the lowest vibration of shame and guilt, and not fix it, but come into communion, and I use that word on purpose. Not just like, “Hey, hi, how are you doing?” but, communion.
Can you imagine holding in your arms the part of you that feels like you’ve abandoned them, that you’ve judged them, that you’ve avoided them, that you’re embarrassed by them, that you’re humiliated to be on the planet and not wanting anyone to know about that part of you? It could be in any of these seven realms.
If you could be bold and courageous enough to sit in the dark for as long as it takes, even if it takes like ten nights in a row that you sit by candlelight, looking at yourself in the mirror, and finding that part that’s so hiding. And come into communion which to me is the total allowance and zero judgment, not fixed and blossoming and perfect.
Loving Yourself Unconditionally As True Intimacy
The transcendence will occur through unconditional love, which is, “I love you as you are even if you never change for eternity. I still love you.” There are parts of us that need to hear that from nobody else on the outside, but our self.
And so, when you can find communion with that darkest place that the part of you that you may have even given up on and you can bring them into your arms. Not even into the light yet, just into your arms in the dark. Then one day, something inside just like a moment of grace will happen, and that part of you will be like, “Okay. We can do it. We can get back up again. We can show up again.”
What True Intimacy Can Provide
No longer will you seek attention or approval on the outside. No longer will the fear of rejection stop you because you will never again reject yourself. And still, this is ‘into me I see.’ This is what true intimacy can provide.
Of course, the results on the outside is more success, more money, more making a difference on the planet, more energy flowing through you, but it sort of like the deeper the roots, the higher the shoots.
Be willing to go all the way to the core.
What’s a good way to start that conversation with yourself?
Have A Sacred Time For True Intimacy
I would provide a sacred time. Light a candle, and breathe into the area of most significant contraction in your body where you might have a stomach ache, or you might have anxiety in your heart, or your throat might feel like you’re being hung by a noose.
Find where you are in your body because it’s energy and it’s stuck. Breathe, and just go in to say “Hi.” It’s like a truce. Maybe it’s a growing part of you. Bring some hot chocolate.
Maybe it’s an ashamed part of you. Bring a warm cashmere blanket, and just get to know them. Say, “Look, I apologize that I’ve been being busy and trying to overcome you and fix you. I didn’t get that that was a form of judgment saying the way you are is not okay. Please forgive me. I didn’t mean to be against you. I was trying to help. I just didn’t know all you needed was for me to come here and be with you together forever if that’s as long as it takes for you to be at one with me finally.”
That level of sincerity is what I think all of us genuinely require all the way in our core and just be willing to sit there and see what comes up.
True Intimacy – Know Where You Are In Your Body
You might want to journal. You might just want to have a conversation with yourself in the mirror. You might just meditate and hear voices. You might want to call in angels or higher beings or molecules of consciousness or whatever resonates, but you know that that part is in there if you still are afraid of rejection because who’s being triggered is that part inside.
Acknowledge that you have every right to feel that way. Shit went down, something happened. They have every right to be scared or ashamed, and you’re not here to judge them for that. You’re here to acknowledge, validate, and love them, and allow them to be as they are. Magic will occur I promise.
There you have it, Thriving Launchers. That’s a great way to wrap up. Nice note there about true intimacy.
Thriving Launchers, I hope you got something out of today’s episode. I hope you’ll take a moment to have that conversation with yourself or check in in whatever way works for you so that you can have a little bit more self-compassion and understanding for yourself as well as more fearlessness.
Thriving Launchers, we’ll see you on the next episode, and keep thriving you all.